Before Christmas, I Facebooked thusly:
Well, Santa didn’t leave either of those items under the tree for P Motion. Instead he left a pogo stick, along with a gift card redeemable at our local emergency room.
IDIOT! Don’t you remember your own horrific tales of Hopper the Bastard Rabbit*?
Of course I remember. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a parent, it’s that I’m not obligated to learn anything from my mistakes. In fact, it’s probably better if I don’t.
Plus the kid really wanted a lizard.
So KAW did the research, and last Friday a terrarium, 50 live crickets, and a hypo high yellow designer leopard gecko arrived at our house via UPS. And, yes, our car insurance went down 15% within 15 minutes of its arrival.
But P Motion’s birthday wasn’t until Monday.
For three days, the gecko now known as Ecko (really) lived in our bedroom closet. And, amazingly enough, we actually managed to keep all of the kids out.
However, we didn’t manage to keep all of the crickets in (feel free to insert a witty bit of entomological humor concerning insects coming out of a closet here). In fact, a cricket just went hopping across the kitchen floor as I write this. Swear.
But finally, Monday we gathered the crew, blindfolded our New Year’s Boy, told him to put his hands out, and sat his present on his hand.
Then we removed the blindfold.
Then we observed a reaction that is very non-typical P Motion (still and silent).
Then he let out a little squeak of disbelief.
Then he and Ecko were bum-rushed by his siblings, who were anything but still and silent. See for yourself.
A few observations:
1. Hellcat is three-quarters howler monkey as judged by the un-Godly decibel level used when speaking to (shouting at) others who are less than a half-foot away; the way that she bounces around on a near-continual basis; and her very hairy arms (and back).
2. Our furniture, which we’ve had for just about six months, isn’t likely to last another six months at the frenetic pace with which or children tromp all over it.
3. KAW is very quick to say that no, geckos don’t ever bite you.
4. Slim got those pajamas for Christmas. We refer to them as the Pink Bunny Pajamas from Aunt Clara.
5. Geckos feel like lizards.
6. Reptiles generally make for happy kids.
7. Ecko has to be thinking, “Son of a — why don’t little old ladies get geckos as pets?”
A week in, both boy and lizard are doing fine. Ecko has even shed his skin once, which seems very symbolic for the new year.
*Hopper Update: This past summer, I convinced P Motion that we should release Hopper from his hutch and let him run wild and unrestrained as all bastard animals that crap a lot should. I fully
hoped expected that he’d be eaten by the neighbor’s dog or some other type of carnivore within a week.
He wasn’t. I’m happy to report that Hopper is still roaming the range, crapping frequently and freely.