Kick Ass Wife and I are big fans of The Voice.
We happened upon the show early last season and found that we really enjoyed the format, the talent, and the four celebrity coaches. Now we’re unabashedly hooked. Once we’ve got the kids to bed at night — an excruciating process that occasionally takes under three hours — KAW and I settle in to get our DVRd fix of Adam, Cee Lo, Christina, and Blake.
So of course we were excited when our very own Hellcat auditioned for the show.
Not surprisingly, all four coaches pushed their buttons and spun their chairs, behavior that would uniquely qualify them to be 3-year-olds.
Then it was game on.
CEE LO: What’s your name, girl, and how old are you?
HELLCAT: The Hellcat. I’m five.
ADAM: First off, I love you. Your voice is so unique. When you hit the “phone home” chorus, I knew I had to have you on my team. It was a little pitchy at the beginning, but I’m betting that was nervousness. Or possibly shortness of breath from that spider-monkey-like gymnastics routine you were attempting on the countertop. Either way, I’m confident you can compensate for that lack of pitch through sheer volume and ear-numbing endurance. Again, I love you. Choose me.
CHRISTINA: Heeyyy, Hellcat. You put some really nice runs together in that medley, like when you ran over and snatched your mom’s phone off the counter. Team Xtina would be a great fit because you and I have so much in common! You’re a diva, I’m a diva. You get whatever you want, I get whatever I want. You’re growing up with three boys, I work with three men who act like boys. We’re a perfect match! Oh, and I’ll let you paint your own fingernails and won’t care how messy it is. We have assistants who clean up that type of stuff.
BLAKE: Well, you ain’t a country artist, but I was sure awe-shucksed by your talent. You were composed beyond your years, especially when your brother was pitchin’ that major-league hissy fit in the background because he had to brush his teeth. Now I’m going to start doing the inchworm-pointy-finger thing above my head while I look down at Adam and make funny faces.
CEE LO: When you transitioned into the Queen classic towards the end and turned on that gravelly, possessed-little-girl-from-Poltergeist voice, it was very clear to me that you are a unique artist. I know your mom repeatedly reminds you “singing isn’t yelling,” so I want to help you harness that raw power and refine it and nurture it. Girl, you have the type of voice that needs to be heard. And did you know that I have a cat and a cockatoo?
In the end, the four coaches abandoned their chairs and walked off the set because Hellcat couldn’t make up her mind which one to choose. It was as excruciating as waiting for her to pick out her clothes in the morning.
But not quite as excruciating as bedtime.
Love it – hilarious!
Just one more thing we have in common – watching The Voice by DVR. I usually get to settle in and watch around 10:30 pm. (sigh)
This two or three Voices a week schedule is killing us.
I like The Voice, too. It’s responsible for my over-use of the phrase “a little pitchy,” which I’m sure doesn’t really apply to Hellcat.
A “little” pitchy doesn’t apply.
She really kicked it into high gear around the 40 second mark! Hellcat knows to display all the genres at once. Finally a unique voice.
She’s versatile, for sure.
You haven’t mentioned that she was one of those Tibetan throat singers.
Love that she went for the prop!
It was a pretty crafty move, actually. Get Mom’s phone through song.
Prime “future-blackmail” material. And adorable. And catchy. I’m going to be singing, “Phone home, phone home, phone home… phooooone hooooooome” for the remainder of the day. Instant hit!
Make sure you get extra pitchy on that fourth one.
Reblogged this on knoxmiles's Blog.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better than Phone Home, she broke out into a demon voice. Two thumbs up.
Very few singers can go demon voice.
I especially like the Twisted Sister inspired “I got my own phone” improvised lyric to the tune of “I Wanna Rock
That is hilarious! I’m guessing that demon voice at the end is a necessary thing for a girl to have if she has 3 brothers.
Pretty sure she’s mimicking her mom’s demon voice.
LOVE LOVE The Voice and to the talented Hellcat you had me at “phone home, phone home”
I am absolutely LOVING your blog! You can tell by my emphatic use of capitals.