Even Batman is powerless against the allure of a gravel pile.
Finally, Black Friday!
Hopefully you were sleeping off the aftereffects of a wicked turkey bender and missed it entirely.
Because if you’re like me, going to Wal-Mart at any time on any day is a black occasion — dark, depressing, likely to induce eye-twitching and mass alcohol consumption regardless of the hour – so the prospect of banging carts down the aisles with hundreds of bargain-crazed spenders at midnight racing to claim the last Bieber Me Elmo (voice raises two octaves/ sings, “Baby, baby, baby, no…” repeatedly) isn’t appealing.
And it’s unnecessary.
Kids lose interest in those “hot” holiday toys in less time than it takes them to decide they have to go to the bathroom after you’ve put their snowsuits on.
So this Christmas, get your kids gifts they’ll actually play with, and, as an added bonus, are inexpensive. It’s a win-win, like Jello shots.
Here’s the first of five gifts that have staying-power.
A Pile of Gravel
This one’s so easy you’ll feel like you’re cheating: call a local construction materials supplier, order a load of gravel, have it dumped in front of your house, set a ribbon on top, and prepare to be voted awesome-sauce parent of the neighborhood by a landslide.
This is perfection on so many levels. One, a big-ass dump truck is going to deliver the goods, and kids go bananas for that type of thing. Two, it’s dirt cheap. You can get a literal ton of road base (sand/gravel mix) for like $20. Number three, nobody’s going to steal it, because when adults look at a pile of gravel, they know they’re looking at a pile of work.
Quarter! Holla!
But for whatever reason, when kids lay eyes on a pile of gravel, they see a pile of opportunity. I’ve witnessed our own children sit and sift for the better part of entire days in search of they-know-not-what, but that doesn’t seem to deter them in the least. Maybe it’s because kids still have that innocent, naive optimism where they believe that if they keep digging deeper and deeper, they’ll eventually unearth something magical and meaningful in what otherwise appears to be a massive mound of nothingness.
It’s similar to an adult’s justification for watching any of the Real Housewives franchises.
And if your children do start to lose interest in the pile, you simply plant a few coins near the surface, pick one out and yell, “OMG! A whole quarter!” and the kids’ll start digging again with the gusto of amateur archeologists.
Plus, they’ll have hundreds of thousands of rocks to wash, and we all know how much kids love that.
Next time on Cheap Christmas Gifts Kids Will Actually Play With, we’ll take a look at all of those junk electronics you have sitting around the house.
*****
While we’re on the subject of kids, head over to Stuff Kids Write and check out “Holy Gwockomoly: This Birthday Card is Be. A. Utiful.” The 7-year-old author of this piece is my nephew. He’s a character. You’ll see.
I would play with gravel.
And I’m 13. Uhm what?
-Aanya
Check out my blog perhaps?
I can attest to the sheer awesomeness of a rock pile. My grandparents had one that I was allowed to play on as a kid. I was able to play queen of the hill, dig for dinosaur bones and my parents didn’t care of I got dirty! Rock piles are great things.
Sounds like a great pile. And the dirtiness part of this gift is something that can’t be overlooked.
Love the idea of a rock pile! Across the street, there is a small rock area. Everytime we go on a walk, my daughter visits to pick out a few rocks to bring home and deposit in our flower beds.
Children are drawn to them, right? Like moths and bright lights. Except with rocks.
love it….pile of gravel.
a shallow dirt hole works too and then the dirt can be used for just a good ol’ fashion dirt pile…..2 for the price of 1. add scoring a few worms along the way and it’s near heaven!
Excellent point. A hole with a pile next to it is a step above an isolated pile. And worms? Goodnight.
Reminds me of the time my brother started digging a hole…for days. He finally tired of it when it was as deep as he was tall. I think he got scared at that point.
Funny stuff.
And you got a pile out of the deal. Perfect.
I could use it to hide all those gifts they’ve received in years past, and it will make those seem new again, too
Yes, pile them up before the dump truck arrives. Well played.
This is sheer genius.
And not that I’m competing or anything, but my kids got months of entertainment out of several giant cardboard boxes that had previous housed the outdoor furniture we purchased in August.
First, they used them as forts with their friends. Then as target practice in the backyard for homemade weaponry.
But my favorite came last Tuesday when they and their cousins simply ripped the boxes to shreds covering the floor of our garage.
They plan to use all the pieces in our fire pit and fireplace as kindling and I’m pretty sure there’s enough to last us through Valentine’s Day.
So clearly, that’s when we’ll schedule the gravel shipment.
You know what makes a great sled for a gravel pile? Cardboard.
There could be gold in that gravel pile! Keep diggin’, McFadden crew!
I wish.
When my nephew was younger, he would ignore all his presents because he liked extension cords. So that’s always fun.
Christmas is a great cord holiday.
Forget the kids, I want a gravel pile for Christmas! I will then have my brother over so I can finally settle this King of the Mountain thing once and for all by dethroning him and shoving gravel down HIS pants.
Please video that.
Gravel. Brilliant. We had a dump truck of dirt delivered when I was a kid, ostensibly to “level the backyard”. It stayed a dirt pile until we moved. But it was awesome. It was our very own mountain. And it grew things. I only wish I’d known about washing rocks back then. I’m thrilled to see you writing in other places!
Thanks, JM. Sounds like you had an awesome pile.
Sorry, but gravel is just evil. It is not fun being a third-grader and wiping out in gravel, only to have a sadistic nun aka head teacher/cook/busdriver/custodian eagerly scrub the gravel out of your knee. I’ve hated gravel ever since. And nuns.
But if it had been a pile of gravel, it would have totally cushioned your fall.
Chase – I can vouch for the “pile of gravel” and it’s amazing attraction!
Cork
Yeah, you know. It’s a veteran move. A gravel pile probably kept us kids out of you guys’ hair for at least a little while, right?