UNITED STATES, Wyoming (AP) To be crowned a champion, it takes hard work, drive, and unrelenting focus. Such dogged determination can be exhausting.
Just ask Tax Credit #4.
The pint-sized prognosticator, age 2, known for his “no”-nonsense approach to picking the winners in this year’s NFL Playoffs, ended this postseason just like he started it: perfect. But it wasn’t without a price.
Shortly after the 3:30 pm (MST) press conference during which he predicted that, “No,” the Pittsburgh Steelers would not win Super Bowl XLV, a near-guarantee that the Green Bay Packers would in fact claim the 4th title in the franchise’s history, Tax Credit #4 was found passed out face-down in his bowl of Top Ramen, the heavy expectation of perfection having run him down like a Clay Matthews pass rush, literally sacking him in his booster seat.
#4′s brother, Perpetual Motion, wasn’t surprised. “The last two weeks he’s been pouring over statistical data, reviewing game film from each of the Steelers and Packers’ games during the 2010-2011 season, consulting players and coaches from around the league for insider analysis. He just wore himself out. But I tell you what: he called it.”
In a related story, small-scale rioting was reported in the McFadden’s basement just after the Lombardi Trophy was presented to the Packers. Raw footage of the melee was captured by an amateur videographer, including images of a rejuvenated Tax Credit #4 double-fisting two Ligthsabers. Asked whether it was past his bedtime, he enthusiastically yelled, “No.”
Another rioter, Tax Credit #4′s sister, the Hellcat, 3, shouted, “What’s the Super Bowl?” when asked whether the children’s unruly behavior was meant to show support for the Packers’ victory. Her 6-year old brother, Slim, added, “That Darth Vader commercial was awesome!”
According to the children’s father, he was going to have another beer.
(How was your Super Bowl Sunday? What was your favorite advertisement? Any rioting, small-scale or otherwise? Anyone have an idea why they can’t play the Super Bowl on Saturday?)