The Hellcat is really feeling the Christmas spirit. She has given me no less than 25 “gifts” today, the type of thoughtful, lovingly-and-carefully-selected presents that could only be found by walking into her bedroom, randomly picking up two dozen items laying on the floor, and tossing them into a lovely snowman gift bag.
So far I have received the following:
One pair of children’s size 8 cowboy boots (“So you can ride a horse.”)
Perpetual Motion’s blue baby blanket (Everyone needs a comfort object.)
One pair of red and pink Minnie Mouse underwear (The colors are fabulous, but I usually wear the thong cut. I might see if she still has the receipt for these.)
Some sort of electronic sensory-overload ball for toddlers (I got bored with it after about 20 minutes.)
A pair of white, blue, pink, and green tennis shoes (Complete with velcro fasteners, my favorite.)
Lime green socks (These will go smashingly with the pastel-themed tennis shoes.)
A set of matching pink electronic gadgets complete with sparkly bling (Little-known fact: per government mandate, all toys marketed for little girls must be at least 50% covered in sparkly bling.)
A Cinderella tea set (I can cross that off my Christmas wish list.)
One pink snow boot (Left or right is merely a technicality to kids anyway when it comes to shoes, so I’ll be able to wear it on either foot.)
One pair of mittens (They are size incredibly-tiny, so I may have to do a bit of hand cramming.)
Two My Pretty Ponies: a sky blue foal with a stunning fuschia mane and a sunflower yellow filly with a sea foam green tail (She won’t be getting these back. I’m completely smitten with them.)
A green block (I’d been thinking about building a one-story tower.)
Ruby red slippers (The Hellcat is all about shoes! I doubt that I’ll be able to pull off Dorothy quite like she did at Halloween, but I’ll give it a shot.)
A plush miniature animal bed (Those Pretty Ponies will be perfectly pampered.)
One magic writing pad (Pen not included.)
A jar of alphabet blocks (The “Q” is missing, but it’s sort of the Pluto of letters anyway.)
A Colorado Rockies softball (Perfect to throw at the feet of 21-month old escapees.)
One rice bag with embroidered monkey insignia (If you are unfamiliar with the concept, rice bags are just what they sound like: sewn cloth bags filled with rice. They can be heated in the microwave and stay warm for hours. Kick Ass Wife and the kids are addicted to them.)
A baby doll (Hopefully the Hellcat was considerate enough to change her diaper first.)
Clearly, an impressive collection of gifts that would be the envy of any 36-year old man. How lucky am I?
It truly is the thought that counts.
(What special gifts have you received from your kids? Why do we say a “pair” of underwear? Any ideas for what I can get Kick Ass Wife? Not that I haven’t gotten her a gift yet. I meant for next year…)
If you “like” the Some Species Eat Their Young Facebook page, you’ll be the 101 person to do so, which will make you vastly superior to whoever becomes 102. Just something to think about.